My kingdom for a box wrench

My friends, I'd like to introduce you to the tool that may make the difference between my getting or not getting the government job I got up early on a Saturday morning to go and test for.

What is it? It's a BOX WRENCH. Does it look like a box? Why, no, it doesn't. Does it open a box? Of course not, silly! Is it a wrench used exclusively by boxers? Nope, wrong again. And yet, for reasons I may never know (or agree with), it's called a BOX WRENCH.

Bear suggested that it's because the little teeth on the inside of the rings grab the nut and "box it in". I threw him out the window.

Before the test date, I received a small instructional sheet in the mail which gave a list of the topics which would be covered on this test. Basic chemistry, science, math, and machine logistics were included. A tool identification section was.... Not. On. The. List.

I would like to point out that I am pretty comfortable around a tool box, having spent many hours as a child helping my dad tune up his cars. I was successfully able to identify a die tool, a cotter pin, and an expansion bolt. I still have to check and see what a toggle bolt is... wait a sec... YES! Got the toggle bolt right, too. So you see, I'm not a dumb girl.

But the tool that I wrongly identified with the multiple choice answer using the adjective "sawtooth"????

That really threw a wrench in the works.

I needed this just now...

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In his book The Medusa and the Snail, science writer Lewis Thomas said that the English word "error" developed from a root meaning "to wander about, looking for something." That's why he liked Darwin's idea that error is the driving force in evolution. I think this wandering-about-looking-for-something approach should be the driving force in your personal evolution, Sagittarius. The coming weeks will be a great time to meander and get distracted and stumble upon unexpected opportunities. May all your mutations have a positive spin! (P.S. Lewis also wrote this: "The capacity to blunder slightly is the real marvel of DNA. Without this special attribute, we would still be anaerobic bacteria and there would be no music.")

It's all very strange, the way things tie in sometimes, like clockwork. My wandering about, looking for a career with meaning. The reference to music, and my recent contact with a huge musical influence.

Reading this makes me feel more like a part of what is supposed to be happening rather than a foyal ruck-up.

Marcheline's Unemployed Arse: Day Four

The good news?

• Today was gorgeous. Sunny, breezy, not too hot (in the shade).
  
• Bear came through in a HUGE way with some money he'd squirreled away for emergencies - gave us a little breathing room while I look for a job. Yay for Bears who squirrel!
• It's Friday, which means I get the weekend with Bear (aside from the bartending job he's doing tomorrow, thank the heavenly host for extra fundage!!)
• JAZ has not left the building - he's just started a new blog~ WHEW!
  

The bad news?

• I didn't get that job. You know, the one with four weeks off and a gym membership, and a great boss.... that one. Did not get. Not. Didn't. Rats.
• No good job leads today. Double rats.
  

We interrupt this series to bring you: The return of MAD MEN!

I'm so excited! Season 2 of Mad Men is airing this Sunday night on AMC! For those of you who haven't seen it, it's not too late to get on board!

Basically, it's all about the private lives and backstabbing work ethics of the employees of a super-slick ad agency in 1960. This was the era of smoking and drinking scotch in the office (if you were a man, of course). This was the era of dressing up to go grocery shopping. This was the era of dressing up to do evvvvvrything!



Meet Don Draper. He's the main character, an up and coming ad man (or "mad man", as the saying goes). He's got a wife and family, with a few chippies on the side - but because he's handsome and has a Cary Grant-esque hairdo, we forgive him all that.



Also - he's not really Don Draper! *gasp* In one first season episode, his long lost brother shows up and confronts him with the real identity that he left behind. Don kicks his brother to the curb and goes on with the show... although his emotional upheaval is starting to wear on the polished image he is keeping up for work.



Meet the girls of Mad Men! On the left, we have little Miss Polly Purebread, also known as Betty Draper. Wife of Don Draper. She's vapid, she's ignoring his indiscretions, and she's trying to avoid getting groped by Don's boss at the company parties. She also has the most excellent wardrobe!



In the middle, there's Joan the Hot Redhead who works at Don's office and screws Don's boss. She's the universal vortex of gossip and she rules the office girls with an iron corset. Don't even try to get anything past her, she's already ten chapters ahead of you, girl, and you'll wind up with your tampon in a knot. Word.


The girl on the far right is Peggy Olson, the office prude (who sleeps with one of the married ad men, gets preggers but doesn't realize it - DUHHH - and has a baby!). 'Nuff said.

THE AD MEN OF "MAD MEN"

From left to right, we have: The Weasely Backstabber and Ladder Climber Who Gets The Prude Preggers, Kinda Smart Kinda Dumb Guy, Don (Not) Draper, Big Closeted Gay Guy, Arrogant Boss With Heart Problem Who Screws Anything That Moves, Some Other Office Guy Who Could Croak And Nobody Would Notice.

For me this is one of those shows that is so well written and slick that it's easy to watch, but the real draw is the clothing, the clocks, the cars, the attitudes - it was so different back then. I was born in the mid 60's, so I recognize a lot of the props and clothing because my parents owned, drove, and wore the stuff! It's just amazing to see it all as it would have looked when it was new. It's kind of sad, too... but that's what nostalgia is all about, I guess.

This is Day Three of Marcheline's Unemployed Arse, but I just wanted to bring a little light-hearted fun into the day and focus on a small, happy thing I can look forward to.

Marcheline's Unemployed Arse: Day Two

Did you ever have a job interview where you felt better when you walked out than when you walked in? Probably not, right?

Well, I just got home from just such an interview. The lady who owns the business is such a positive energy force field that I can honestly say that I am just glad to have met her, whether or not she decides to hire me.

We talked for over an hour, and maybe ten minutes of that was about the job. She talked about her life, I talked about mine, and we talked about 9/11 and a million other things. We both like to restore antique furniture, and we both overcame fears about flying in airplanes.

She had a really rough life, and she's taken it by the horns and turned it around and made it work for her. A real inspiration.

Of course, I'm hoping that I get this job... not only does she give her employees FOUR WEEKS OFF every year, but free membership to a local gym! Two things my life could definitely benefit from.

Keep yer fingers crossed out there, blog buddies o'mine!

Marcheline's Unemployed Arse: Day One

What I did today:

• Had coffee with Bear and waved as he drove off to his daily gainful employment, something which I no longer have.

• As it was almost two hours before most businesses open, I sat on the couch with my harp and practised the song "No One" (written by Bunny Andrews) until I had little ouchie places on the tips of my fingers.

• Called back one of the employers I'd really love to work for, who keeps leaving messages on my cell phone but not answering the phone when I call her back two seconds later.

• Went online and sent out resumes for the three jobs that appeared since the last time I checked the job sites.

• Got Skyped by my bestest buddy Margs from South Africa, and chatted with her for a bit (which cheered me up perceptibly, as always)

• Found a pretty decent government job opportunity and spent the next two and a half hours finding my college transcripts, filling out a four page application in black ink, and one two-sided scantron sheet (also part of the application) in No. 2 pencil, and writing a check for $25 for the application fee

• Cleaned the house

• Took out the garbage

• Washed the dishes

• Cleaned the litterbox

• Took shit up to the attic which I have been tripping over for the past three months

• Went to the post office to mail the application via certified mail

• Took the laundry to the 'mat

• Went grocery shopping

• Made dinner for Bear when he came home

• Read people's blogs and got pissed off when I found out that one of my favorite blogs is apparently going under. I HATE when that happens!

• Checked the job sites again and sighed

And now?

Now, I'm going to bed. Good night, all.

Chapter Two, in which Marcheline gets excited!

A few posts ago, I wrote about a reply email I had received from the music editor of one of my favorite movies of all time - Original Sin (starring my favorite actress of all time, Angelina Jolie).

Honestly, after I sent my reply, I immediately began censoring myself. I gushed too much, I thought. She's going to think I'm a lunatic. Or a hanger-on. I am never going to hear from her again. I should just forget it - not only is she not going to write another email to me, she is certainly not going to mail me a song that she wrote for (and sang in) the movie! It was too good to be true.

But.... this afternoon.... I received this email!

Don't despair! I'm still here, have written out the tune in rough and still need to turn it into legible for you. I've told a couple of people about your email and they were tickled. I just picked out a key; it's never been in an official key. When we were shooting in Mexico, Thomas Jane was supposed to be downstairs in the brothel playing the song on the piano there. The scene was never used, but it was fun trying to teach him how to play it (he had more luck, actually). Then they had me play it while they were shooting that long scene where A walks into the brothel and AB follows her in at a distance, one long shot. It's a big old echoey building in Puebla, so much fun though of course hot and dusty - and hundreds of people a block away at the barriers shouting "Antonio! Antonio!" I don't often have anything to do with the shooting proper, but that was really something. Since you're a musician you'll be able to transpose it to whatever key you want. I'd like to hear it on the strings; I think the tune would be pretty on one of those Venezuelan harps. A good excuse to go down there and find out. And yes, I agree, Mr. Banderas first thing in the morning would be an enjoyable sight indeed! I'll be in touch soon.

Thanks,
Bunny

Holy cow! Not only is she going to send the song to me (is writing the thing out by hand, no less!), but she told her friends about me and they're giggling about it!

I am thrilled beyond words. Honestly, this is so cool. I am half afraid of writing back to her, of breaking the spell, as it were, so it took me an hour to comb over my reply before I hit "send".

I am so in love with movies, with movie making, with music - the thought just gives me chills. This lady has been involved with the soundtracks of so many excellent films - she was ON SET with ANGELINA, for crying out loud! It's just all so exciting.

I am toying with the idea of recording a song that I've written and sending it to her, as a gift in token of her kindness to me. Part of me thinks she might think it's sweet, the other part thinks she might think I'm an eejit. I mean, she's a big-time music editor, and I'm just me.

I just might do it anyway.

You learn something new every day... and sometimes even two things!

It's no secret that I have been having a rough time of it lately. I've been crying in my beer (and other people's swimming pools), whining about it on my blog, and losing sleep sitting up nights searching the internet for jobs and answers.

I finally decided to call it a day, after my employer called me from the road yesterday and told me to look for a new job, and that he's "had it with me". I refute that last bit - he certainly has NOT had it with me, and most likely has not had it with anyone in the recent past. If he had, he wouldn't be such a crabby fuck.

But I digress.

I took all my personal items - pictures, plants, and mousepad - home with me when I left yesterday and I just finished typing up my letter of resignation, to be handed in on Monday morning.

No, I don't have another job lined up. No, I don't even have any remote possibilities lined up. No, I do not know where my next paycheck will come from after my last one from this hell hole I work in.

Yes, I am slightly panicked. Yes, I know that I am doing the right thing because I can't take one more second of the abuse I've put up with since February. Yes, I am trusting that whatever or whoever is "out there" will hear my cries and answer my plea for help (although I don't know if "not having any choice" is the same as "trusting"... hopefully my honesty will weigh in my favor here).

I am sending out resumes as fast as I can, and putting out cosmic requests for speedy assistance. As the moon is now waning, I am banishing all negativity, poverty, and hopelessness. You see, I'm hitting this thing full force. I fully believe that if you are sitting on your ass begging for help, it's bullshit. If you require help, you have to already be helping yourself as much as possible for the other stuff to kick in. Plus, keeping busy helps you to keep from screaming and pulling your hair out in chunks.

But really, all this is just so much piffle. I intended to blog about the two things I learned today. Strangely enough, they both involve Gillian Anderson of the X Files.

1. An anonymous commenter kindly pointed out that the current photo of Gillian that I featured in my last post was majorly Photoshopped, and directed me to the photographs of her in Cannes to view her un-altered proboscis. When I Googled her Cannes appearance, voila! The truth was out there! Her attractively curved nose is intact! I humbly retract my previous commentary (although I had too much fun with the slogan and picture to remove it from my blog - am keeping it for chuckle value), and appreciate the input of the anonymous commenter who set me straight.

2. Since the results of my Google search actually led me to YouTube videos of interviews with Gillian Anderson at Cannes, I was stunned to find out that Ms. Anderson is British! With a British accent and everything! See, I wasn't all that far off with my J.K. Rowling comparison after all! I mean, they're not twins by any stretch of the imagination, but the face shape, deep set eyes, and now the accent...

THE SIMILARITY IS OUT THERE

Notes from the M-Files...

Bear and I have been making our way through Season One of the TV show "The X-Files", on our way to stardom by watching the entire series, in order.

We've just become aware that this summer there will be an "X-Files Movie". I had seen something to this effect on the cover of a magazine in the grocery store, but the woman on the cover didn't look like Agent Scully to me.

After doing a little investigation and finding out that the woman pictured is, in fact, the original Scully actress, Gillian Anderson, I did a little comparison between what she looked like in the good old days of the TV series and what she looks like now, in the new movie.

And I made a discovery! (Aside from the fact that she now looks more like J.K. Rowling than Gillian Anderson.)

THE NOSE JOB IS OUT THERE