Marcheline unveils THE WALL-O-WITHNAIL!

The "Wall-O-Withnail"

Well, folks, here it is at last.  This collage lives on the wall just behind the door of my computer room.  The hinge of the door is visible just to the left of the green curtain.  On the right side, casting a slight shadow, is a tall black bookshelf.  Like the characters in "Withnail & I", the "Wall-O-Withnail" lives in a world of very tight boundaries, but manages to be over-the-top regardless.

Here I will discuss some of the posters and artwork, because they're completely visible in this photo.

1.  Gone With the Wind poster - seen in the film on the wall just to the right of Withnail's sink.  This is a vintage poster that I snagged on ebay - it was the only one I've ever found, and have never seen another one since.  Lucky find!

2.  Black and white photo of actress Louise Brooks - in the film, it's on the left wall of Withnail's kitchen, taped to the corner of a Charlie Chaplin poster.  This was the cheapest item on the wall, since I found the photo online, and printed it out at home.

3.  Charlie Chaplin postcard of the poster for the movie "Modern Times" - I could have gotten the actual poster, but the dimensions were much too big for the space I have here.  The postcard is an exact replica of the poster (click the photo to see it better) so I don't feel this is too much of a departure.  Also, Withnail's apartment is full of postcards on the wall, so this item performs double duty.

4.  That caramel-colored poster under the Charlie Chaplin postcard there is original artwork by Ralph Steadman - it's a drawing of Marwood and Withnail in their apartment, and was included with the DVD of "Withnail & I" that I purchased.  Ralph Steadman did all the artwork for the movie, advertising and opening menu / special features.  While it did not feature in the movie itself, I felt it rated a spot on the Wall because it's original to the existence of the movie, and it's so cool.

5.  The swatch of green vintage fabric - same as the kitchen curtains in Withnail's kitchen!  Looked through thousands and thousands and thousands of vintage fabric photos before I finally found this beauty.

1.  Wood & Sons coffee pot, seen in the film balancing on top of a mound of dirty dishes above Withnail's sink.  I found this on a lovely UK antique shop's website.  The owner and I struck up a friendship and she is currently helping me scout for a few items for the Wall that I haven't yet acquired.

2.  Radish - Uncle Monty wears one on his lapel.  This was one of the hardest items to get hold of.  Not because no one makes faux radishes, but because the people who do only sell them wholesale.  Can't imagine who in the world would need 1,000 fake radishes, but there you have it.  In the end, it cost me $12 - but I couldn't dither because it was the only single radish on the market!  It's a cute little bugger, isn't it?

3.  Fairy Liquid bottle - seen both in Withnail's revolting kitchen, and as part of Danny the Drug Dealer's contraption designed to help the wearer avoid getting arrested for drunk driving.  This particular bottle is a reproduction that was made specially for the Queen's jubilee.  It's from the UK, but it's not vintage.  Am still on the lookout for a real vintage Fairy Liquid bottle.  Someone's grandmother in the UK has one under her sink right this very minute.  I'm coming to find you, granny!

1.  Cock and camel horse brass - seen in the Crow & Crown pub, on the mantel.  There are many, many horse brass pieces on that mantel, but these were two of the only ones I could positively identify.  There's one or two more that I may yet add to the wall - since they're small and easy to hang, shouldn't upset the balance too much.

2.  Black & White Scotch Whisky dogs - seen on a shelf in the Crow & Crown pub, just as Marwood and Withnail are leaving.  Holy cats, this was a tough search!  Not because they're hard to find, but because there are so many variations and knock-offs out there.  I thought I'd pinned down the right one, but when I took another look at the movie, I realized the dogs weren't in the right position.  Finally, I nabbed this one on ebay.  Dogs are in the proper position, and all is right with the world.

3.  A bottle of 1953 Chateau Margaux - seen at the end of the film, being swigged by Withnail as he bids a teary farewell to Marwood, who's finally landed an acting job.  I would have dearly loved to get my hands on a real bottle of '53 Margaux, only I didn't have a spare thousand quid.  The fact that I was able to get my hands on a beautifully done artist's print of the exact year and brand I was looking for made me very, very happy indeed.  I purchased this on ebay for $14, and laughed when the seller sent me an anxious message asking if I realized that I was purchasing a print, and not an actual bottle of wine.  Apparently he'd had some problems with delusional buyers in the past.

 1.  "The Poacher" Toby jug - seen on the shelf above and behind the bartender at the Crow & Crown pub.  This piece has special meaning since that's the scene where Withnail and Marwood first encounter Jake the Poacher.  This item surprised me the most when I took it out of its shipping box, because it's bloody ENORMOUS.  Very cool, though!  Finding this piece took a bit of cheating, since only the bottom half of it is actually visible in the film.  While searching around online, I found a photo taken by one of the movie makers during the filming which showed what the whole piece looked like (though very blurry, and only in the background, in black and white).   Without that photo, I'd never have been able to identify which character this mug depicted.

2.  Metal Ronsonol bottle - plays a starring role in the famous "I Demand To Have Some Booze" scene.  This item was sent to me by a dear friend from the UK who supports my mania for all things Withnail, even if he does think I'm a bit barmy.  This is a key item in the movie, and also rare because Ronsonol only uses plastic packaging nowadays!

 

3.  Marwood's shaving scene, complete with saveloy and chips lunch.  If the materials for this little display cost more than $10, I'll eat my saveloy.  But the effect of the whole is worth so much more - at least to eejits like me.

 1.  Jessie Tait's "Spanish Garden" pattern plate - seen in the drainer of Withnail's awful sink.  The hardest part of finding things like this is not having anything but the pattern to start with.  As the camera remains focused predominantly on the main characters in a scene, background items are often only seen in a blur as the camera travels from one to the other.  Getting the plates you see on the Wall-O-Withnail entailed finding and capturing a screen shot from the movie that enabled me to actually see the pattern on a plate, and then looking through thousands and thousands of vintage plates online until I finally found one that matched, then finding out who made it and what the pattern was called, and then going on another search to find the least expensive one available.  Exhausting, but very rewarding.  I must have been a tomb raider in a previous life.

2.  Ridgway "Homemaker" plate - again, seen in the drainer of Withnail's sink.  This one was tough to nail down because the Homemaker series made several different versions of this design, using different furniture images on each.  The defining furniture visible in the movie plate was the tall floor lamp and the odd oblong bureau just beneath it.  The plate in the movie was upside down, so I had to do a bit of manipulation to see what it was I had to look for.  This plate, as well as the other one, came from the UK.

3.  Cornishware blue mug - seen on Withnail's dining room table at the end of the film, as Marwood is trying to take his leave.  Had a bastard of a time trying to get hold of this.  They're made by T.G. Green, who has a website loudly advertising the fact, only this mug is NEVER IN STOCK.  I finally found this one on the UK ebay.  The seller was not originally willing to ship to the US, but I told her that my grandmother was born in Surrey, my cousin is a pediatrician in Doncaster, and that I only use HP Sauce on my steak and Branston Pickle on my ploughman's lunch.  Not sure which detail won her over, but I got the mug!  It's also ENORMOUS.  I would love to actually use it, but would be terrified to damage it.

 1.  Pernod Fils bottle - seen at Marwood's right elbow during the card game at Crow Crag, Uncle Monty's cottage in the country.  Got this bottle on ebay, and it came with almost half of the contents still in it.  As there are so many crazy people in the world, and as the contents smelled of paint thinner, I poured it out.  I love "Withnail & I", but I'm not willing to go the same route as Withnail, who drank lighter fluid in the story.

2.  Royal Doulton Sandeman port decanter - seen on the mantel at the Crow & Crown pub.  This decanter was also made by Wedgwood, but their version had a matte finish.  The one in the movie was definitely shiny, so I opted for the Royal Doulton.  Happily, these are available all over the internet and are not very expensive.  Once I figured out the brand name, I also discovered they made a sherry decanter where he holds a red cup in the other hand, and a white decanter that held scotch.  The movie decanter is black with the yellow cup, so that's the one I bought.

3.  Vintage metal OXO box - seen on the top kitchen shelf near the sink in Crow Crag, Uncle Monty's cottage.  This was a bit tricky, since OXO made several red boxes.  I had to use the blurry shape of the white words underneath "OXO" to be sure I'd found the same box shown in the movie.

4.   Vintage Lifebuoy Soap box - seen on the lower shelf near the sink at Crow Crag.  This was the only one I was able to find anywhere that matched the movie version, so I paid a bit more for it than I would have liked.  If I look everywhere for something, search every day, for months on end, and only find one of something, I know it's rare and worth more.  This box came with the original soap still inside!

5.  Vintage Sunlight Soap box - seen just under the Lifebuoy box in the movie.  This one was acquired for a very reasonable price, also with original soap inside.  This item is a bit surly.  I had originally placed it on the high shelf now occupied by the coffee pot, and while I was working on another part of the Wall, it jumped off said shelf and hit me in the knuckle, breaking a blood vessel and causing much pain and throwing about of expletives.  As you can see, it has now been placed on the lowest shelf where it can't wreak any more havoc.  Of all the items destined to be vicious, you wouldn't suspect one named "Sunlight", would you?

6.  Swan Vestas matchbox - seen throughout the movie, whenever someone lights a cigarette.  (In other words, hundreds of times.)  My dear friend from the UK sent me this along with the Ronsonol bottle, as he is the only one I know who actually identified the brand from the movie.  As I'm from NY, I've never seen the brand before and the name is never clearly legible in the movie.  Now that I have the box in hand and can see the design, it's clearly the same as the ones they're using in the movie.  According to my friend, who smokes, Swan Vestas are THE smoker's match in England.

7.  Vintage Oxydol Soap box - seen to the left of the other two soap boxes in the movie.  This was a unique acquisition process, because the seller was actually trying to sell it in a grouping of other soap boxes, none of which appeared in the movie.  I sent him a message indicating my desire to just buy the Oxydol, and he was nice enough to sell it to me separately.  This box also contains the original soap.

1.  Model of Withnail's Jaguar, which I've posted about before.  I am more proud of this art project than any I've ever done, I think.

2.  Chrome propeller plane - seen on the bookshelf in Marwood's bedroom as he's packing to leave at the end of the film.  The one in the movie is actually a two-prop plane, so this isn't the right one, but it will do as a place holder until I find the one I'm looking for.

3.  "A Rebours" (Against Nature), by J.K. Huysman - Marwood puts this book into his suitcase before leaving.  The book was inspirational to the movie's writer, Bruce Robinson, which is why he included it in the film.

4.  "Journey's End" by R.C. Sherriff (that's the book with a soldier's button-studded stomach on the cover) - Marwood is seen reading this book (the one in the film has a different cover, still searching for that one) in front of the fire, drinking a glass of red wine, at Uncle Monty's cottage Crow Crag, just before Mr. Parkin comes by with his tractor full of logs, and a chicken.

And now... the

Pièce de résistance!!!

While I was actually writing up this post, I was simultaneously hovering like a raptor over an auction on ebay from the UK.  Heart pounding rapidly, I waded into a fierce last-second battle for a coveted Wall-O-Withnail item, and I won it... by a mere two pounds.  I proudly present to you the most recent and highly prized acquisition for the Wall:

An ORIGINAL Carlton Ware Guinness Toucan lamp base!

This item (sans socket and wire) appears on the mantel of the Crow & Crown, just to the right of the black-caped Sandeman port decanter.  This is a serious purchase, and I will admit I paid a lot of money for it, and that my palms were sweating as I clicked the mouse on that final bid.  

The thing is, these are hard to find.  Most of the ones you do find are knock-offs (you can tell by the chest paint - the knock-offs have delineated stripes of red and yellow).  Of the genuine items you can find, most of them have the tail broken off.  Truth be told, the one in the movie has its tail broken off.  They tried to hide the fact by turning it sideways, but you can see by the shadow it casts on the wall that the tail is missing.  I am very happy to have won this intact version, because while it may be a little different from the one in the film, it will continue to increase in value over the years so long as I keep it in good shape.

The "mental buffer", otherwise known as an excuse, which enabled me to spend a lot of money on this item is this:  If by some miracle I do come across another one of these for five bucks at the local thrift store, I can sell it for the same amount or more than I paid for this one, and thus recoup my outlay.  

In closing, I will say that I view the "Wall-O-Withnail" as a twofold joy.  First, it is a fun collage on my computer room wall which celebrates two of my greatest passions - vintage items and "Withnail & I".  Second, it is a grouping of real, rare, vintage collectibles.  Twenty years down the road, if I suddenly decide I don't want them any more, they will bring more money in than I spent to get them.  And who knows - they might even bring a bigger price sold as a collection to some other person who's almost as crazy about "Withnail & I" as I am.  

I think we can all agree there's no one who matches my level of insanity on this topic, can't we?

P.S.   Items on my "must get" list include the soup bowl which Marwood eats coffee out of, the massive antique mantel clock in Withnail's living room, the ceramic figural lamp of the nude lady with the blue coat in Withnail's living room, the red Watney's beer barrel on peg legs on Withnail's mantel, the pair of vintage salt and pepper shakers on the dining room table during the "Camberwell Carrot" scene, and the etched sherry glass that Uncle Monty drinks out of when he says to Marwood "I'm preparing myself to forgive you".  Sherry glass (possibly) aside, these items are going to cost a fortune if and when I'm ever able to identify and/or find them!  Still, I soldier on.  It's the joy of the hunt!